How to use commas in fiction and narrative non-fiction works
This guide is a work in progress and not an exhaustive resource (yet).
This guide provides explanations and examples of how to use commas with conjunctions in works of fiction or narrative non-fiction. It follows the premise that commas have a grammatical purpose: to aid clarity. It does not subscribe to the myth that commas are for breath pauses but acknowledges that some uses are a style choice.
Index
And
Comma before conjunction followed by introductory adverbial clause fronting an independent clause
- They beat him, and though it hurt, he refused to cry.
Comma after conjunction when used parenthetically with a dependent (subordinate) clause
- She bent and, praising the child, pinned a ribbon on her jumper.
Complex list
- I asked if I could pay for the groceries later, and if she could please reserve a delivery time for me.
As
Time (simultaneous action – while, when)
- The kitten purred as I stroked her furry head.
- As I stroked her furry head, the kitten purred.
Result and cause (because, since)
- I’m not having dinner, as I’ve already eaten.
- As I’ve already eaten, I’m not having dinner.
Comparison or the way something is done (just like)
- Sarah arrived on time, as instructed.
- As instructed, Sarah arrived on time.
*Exception: use a comma for clarity where confusion may arise:
I left the room as Cleo was playing the bagpipes. (time)
I left the room, as Cleo was playing the bagpipes. (result, cause)
As long as, so long as
Provided that
- You can go as long as you finish your homework.
- As long as you finish your homework, you can go.
Provided that (informal use)
- You can go so long as you finish your homework.
- So long as you finish your homework, you can go.
Comparison or the way something is done (just like)
- Sarah posted the letter, as she’d been instructed.
- As we’d expected, Sarah was late again.
Because
Conjunction linking subordinate clause (reason or cause)
- I drank it all because it tasted so good.
- Because of the bushfires, we couldn’t go camping.
- Some people stay in bed just because they can.
Tip: sometimes a comma is needed for clarity
When a negative statement introduces this conjunction
- Incorrect: He didn’t drink it because it was cold – may mean the cold was irrelevant and there was another reason he drank it.
- Correct: He didn’t drink it, because it was cold – clearly means the cold was the reason he didn’t drink it.
When the sentence becomes ambiguous:
- Incorrect: I know Jenny makes the best risotto because her partner told me – does the partner’s opinion have influence on Jenny’s risotto-making skills? Or has Jenny’s partner simply expressed an opinion?
- Correct: I know Jenny makes the best risotto, because her partner told me.
But
Comma before conjunction when followed by introductory adverbial phrase or clause fronting an independent clause
- He lost the race, but on the flip side, he gained a new friend.
No comma when followed by a dependent (subordinate) clause
- The sapling looked as if it would survive the storm but gave out and snapped at the base.
Comma after conjunction when used parenthetically with a dependent (subordinate) clause
- The sapling looked as if it would survive the storm but, after two hours of thrashing winds, gave out and snapped at the base.
Further reading: Daily Writing Tips
Despite
Preposition
- Despite being exhausted, they pushed through and made it to the peak.
- Jake managed to stay awake despite being thoroughly bored.
- The oak tree, despite being trimmed too far, survived the winter.
Even though
Adverb (emphasis)
- They completed the test even though they were late.
- Tamara finished the book even though she didn’t enjoy it.
Instead
Adverb or conjunctive adverb (shows contrast)
- They considered leaving but[,] instead[,] thumped harder on the door. (Commas are optional, depending on preferred emphasis).
- Don’t just tell students they’re wrong; instead, explain why OR Don’t just tell students they’re wrong. Instead, explain why.
- You could have let me know last night instead of leaving me stranded without a lift today.
- Instead of believing what Joel said, she googled the information for herself.
- Instead, I suggest you leave the alcohol out of the recipe.
- Barry took the longer route instead.
Once
Only takes a comma when used with an introductory phrase.
Adverb relating to time
- I’m only doing this once.
- It happens once a month.
Noun
- Please stop doing that at once.
- I wish you would come just this once.
- For once in your life, own up to some responsibility.
Conjunction
- I will respond once I have thought about your offer.
- Once I’ve done the dishes, I’m heading to bed.
Since
Conjunction (reason)
Tip: only use a comma if the preceding clause is negated by the following clause.
- I wouldn’t be sitting the exam, since it was being held two states away.
- I think I’ll have a dessert since you’re going to.
- Since you don’t seem to care, I’m leaving tonight.
Preposition (time)
- I haven’t eaten a toffee apple since I was a kid.
- He’s limped ever since the accident.
Adverb
- She left in the night, and I haven’t seen her since.
- I was bitten by a monkey and have hated them ever since.
- I started chef school five years ago, and I’ve learnt a lot since then.
Further examples: Cambridge dictionary
Rather (adverb)
Degree or extent
- The pup was rather excited to see its owner return.
- It was rather a boring event.
Instead of
- They chose to visit the seaside rather than the mountain area.
- Rather than wait a day or two for the weather to clear, she drove out into the storm.
Preference
- He would rather risk being caught than miss out on sneaking a slice of cake.
- I would rather you didn’t do that.
- He chose violence rather than compromise.
And not
- She took a huge gulp rather than a dainty sip.
- He took the meandering laneway rather than the steeper road.
So (conjunction)
therefore
- They didn’t have the flavour I wanted, so I didn’t buy any.
- It was raining all day, so we stayed indoors.
reason
- I used a stool so [that] I could reach the shelf.
- He married her so that he could stay in the country.
as introduction to sentence – with and without a pause
- So, what do we do now?
- So I couldn’t care less.
- So, when we get there, let me do the talking.
Such as, including
Commas are only used where the phrase is non-restrictive (doesn’t change the meaning of the noun or noun phrase it is modifying).
Non-restrictive
- I only like flavoured milk, such as chocolate or strawberry.
- She taught me many things I didn’t know, such as the names for various shades of blue.
- I looked at every building, including the local town hall, but couldn’t find the perfect venue.
Restrictive
- Planes such as passenger jets are only piloted by highly trained crew members.
- Books including offensive terms should content contain warnings.
Then
Adverb (time)
- Then, the population was only around fifty.
- Just then, I dropped my ice cream.
Adverb (next)
- Then he stood and left.
- She lifted baby from the floor, placed it on her hip, then continued to stir the soup.
- If not, then when?
Adverb (indicating one thing affecting another)
- If not now, then when?
- If I arrive late, then go without me.
Adverb (with interjection)
- Well then, I ain’t gonna do it.
Noun (time)
- I had no reason to wait until then.
- Since then, she’s never spoken to me.
Adjective
- Before she died, the queen received the then prime minister.
Further examples: Britanica.com
Though
Conjunction
- Though she was hungry, she refused to eat.
- He tagged along, though didn’t participate.
- It was sunny, though cold.
Adverb used for contrast (however)
- It was tasty, though.
- She had to admit, though, the child had talent.
Although
Conjunction (contrast)
- Although the weather was inclement, the hikers made it to their destination.
- The meal was delicious, although barely enough to fill our stomachs.
- I attended the ceremony, although it made me want to scratch my eyeballs out.
Even though
Adverb (emphasis)
- They completed the test even though they were late.
- Tamara finished the book even though she didn’t enjoy it.
Too (Adverb)
No comma necessary at end of sentence
- I want some ice cream too.
To differentiate between “as well” and “both”, rewrite for clarity
- I, too, would like some chocolate.
- I like both chocolate and boysenberry.
Comma in middle of sentence for clarity
- He, too, refused to participate in the game.
Comma with abrupt additional or change in thought
- “I saved all the pets, oh and his favourite guitar, too, before the fire brigade even arrived.”
- He packed everything he could see, but then, too, wasn’t sure if he missed anything.
No comma when used before adjective, as degree, for emphasis or certainty
- It was way too busy to get a seat.
- I’m not too sure if the aurora will show up.
- “She’s finally here!” “Well, it’s about time too.”
- “You aren’t tall enough to go on that ride.” “I am too!”
When
Adverb (restrictive)
- I told you she was fine when I last saw her.
- Terry laughed when his brother tripped and fell in the snow.
Adverb (non-restrictive)
- We’re planning our holiday for spring, when the gardens will be in full bloom.
- I’m waiting to see what the weather will be like, when I’ll decide which route to take.
Conjunction
- We bought the car when [while] we were out of state.
- Why would you remind him of that when [if] you know he’s already upset.
While
Conjunction (as the same time, during the time)
- The horse kicked him while he was trying to free its hoof.
- One warmed up the car while the other locked up the house.
- While you consider it wrong, I think it’s perfectly fine.
- The decision, while popular, proved to be flawed.
- The crew set up the stage while, over at the house, the band continued to practise.
Conjunction (whereas, although)
- The decision, while popular, proved to be flawed.
- Most people opted for chocolate, while a few chose vanilla.
- The crew set up the stage, while over at the house, the band continued to practise.
Where
Subordinate conjunction introducing a nonessential clause
- He climbed into the lower bunk, where he slept for the rest of the night.
- They slithered along the floor beneath the smoke, where the air was the clearest.
Adverb (at what place or in what situation)
- I’m wondering where I left my glasses.
- I left her where the tall poppies grow.
- I love the part where they capture the baddie.