Tell us something about yourself that not many people know.
I used to be a dentist. People are usually surprised when they find out, and their first question is some variation of, “Why on earth would you give up a career that pays so well?” Well, becoming a dentist wasn’t entirely my idea. My father thought it was a good, respectable profession for a woman. And practical, too. After all, if I ever got married and my husband needed to move somewhere, I could simply open a practice wherever we ended up. But apparently the universe has a sense of humour. I ended up moving to the US, where my dental qualifications weren’t recognised. And since I wasn’t particularly in love with the idea of being a dentist for the rest of my life, I decided not to pursue it. With so much time on my hands, I started going to the gym and realised how much I enjoyed exercising. My trainer at the time encouraged me to give personal training a go. And here I am, many years later, still doing it.

Why did you choose the themes in your book and were you aware of them from the start?
The truth is that my book didn’t start as a book. It started as a personal journal. At the time, my husband had been involved in a car accident that was turning into a lawsuit. I found myself struggling with stress and uncertainty, looking for a way to cope with everything that was going on. So I started writing about my feelings, the thoughts that were haunting me, and any observations about what was helping and what was making things worse. But the more I wrote, the more I noticed. Ideas started popping into my head, usually when my mind was quiet. During my morning meditation, while walking the dog or in the shower. I began jotting them down because I wanted to remember them later. Interestingly, this collection of ideas seemed to follow a theme: What can we do when life gets really difficult and we don’t know how to handle it? That’s when I started researching psychology, neuroscience and philosophy, trying to understand how stress affects our reactions and why we respond the way we do. But as I started organising my ideas into a book, I realised that we’re all different. What works for me might not work for someone else. I couldn’t simply write about my experience as if it were a universal truth. After all, there’s no such thing as one size fits all. So I began developing a framework to help people understand themselves well enough to figure out what works for them. That’s how the idea of the Personal User Manual came about, and the book organically unfolded around those themes.

How difficult was it for you to write this book? Did you face any obstacles?
Funny enough, writing the book wasn’t particularly difficult. In fact, I loved it. I looked forward to sitting at my computer and developing my ideas. There was a lot of research involved, and I was genuinely curious and excited about what I was discovering. Of course, there were frustrating moments. Times when I’d sit down and think, “How the hell am I supposed to explain this?” After all, English isn’t my first language, and sometimes what I wanted to say didn’t translate very well. But I got there in the end. You know what was really challenging, though? Putting myself out there as an author. While I was writing, I felt quite confident about my ideas. I’d done the research, and I was comfortable with what I was saying. But when I started looking into podcasts to promote the book, I found myself surrounded by PhDs, specialists, renowned authors and people with impressive credentials. And suddenly, I started questioning myself. Who was I to be sitting alongside these people talking about psychology and human behaviour? It exposed a whole collection of insecurities I hadn’t even realised were there. I wasn’t particularly worried about defending my ideas. I was worried about being perceived as someone pretending to be an expert. Which, by the way, I’m not. I’m a very curious person who’s sharing a point of view. After all, Shit Happens isn’t a textbook. So I would say that the biggest obstacle wasn’t writing the book. It was learning to feel comfortable putting myself out there as the person who wrote it. Which is rather ironic, considering that the book is about self-discovery!

Do you always write in this genre or do you like to break out of the box?
Well, considering this is my first book, I can confidently say that 100% of my books are in this genre! Jokes aside, I really enjoy writing about my own experiences, what’s going on inside my head, and the little things I observe in everyday life. Interestingly, writing this book has made me much more aware of my own thoughts and behaviours, but also more curious about other people’s. I find myself constantly observing how we react to situations, the things we do without thinking, and the strange ways our minds work. So I guess you could say that human behaviour is what fascinates me. Whether that means I’ll always write in this genre, who knows?

What are your writing habits or idiosyncrasies?
I like playing with ideas in my head. I find it entertaining. Like working with Play-Doh. You stretch it, squish it and move it around until something takes shape. Most of my ideas show up when my mind is quiet enough for something interesting to come alive. But because they usually arrive at inconvenient times (like in the shower or when I’m walking the dog), I’ve developed a habit of recording voice notes whenever something catches my attention. I want to make sure I remember those ideas so I can play with them later! For instance, when I was writing Shit Happens, I’d have these fascinating insights during my morning meditation, but I couldn’t sit down to develop them. So I’d make notes and go to work because, well, bills don’t pay themselves. When I got home, I’d go through my notes, pull the ideas apart, develop them further and do some research. Writing was more like the mechanical process of organising those ideas. And once they were on paper, I could read them and see them from a different perspective. Eventually, I created a structure for the book and started figuring out where each idea might fit. And then came the endless rearranging. I’d go back, read everything, move sections around, rewrite passages and sometimes change the whole direction of a chapter. The book ended up going through eight different versions. If you compared the first manuscript with the final one, you’d probably wonder whether they were even the same book!

What would you do differently next time?
I’m not sure I’d change much, to be honest. I had so much fun writing the book, and the system I developed worked really well for me. In fact, I still use it for my other writing. I suspect I’d be more efficient the next time around, though. I’ve noticed that my writing is becoming clearer. I’m getting better at expressing what I want to say, organising my thoughts and weaving a joke into the narrative without forcing it. But I think that’s simply the result of practice. You learn by doing, and writing a whole book certainly gave me plenty of opportunities to practise! So rather than doing things differently, I think I’d just do them a little better. At least, that’s the hope!

With hindsight, what would you say to yourself as a fledgling writer?
I’m not sure I have the benefit of hindsight just yet. After all, this is still unfolding, isn’t it? I’m new at this and still figuring things out. And because we learn through experience, going back and changing things might mean missing out on some valuable lessons along the way. What I’m discovering now, though, is that I need to give myself permission to be a beginner. Because writing the book was the easy part. Standing beside it as the author? That’s a different story. I can’t expect to have the confidence of someone who’s been doing this for twenty years when I’m only just starting out. So perhaps the advice I need to give myself isn’t about writing at all. It’s simply, “Give yourself a break. You’re new at this!”

What’s next for your writing?

I have absolutely no idea! I’ve been writing articles and publishing on Substack, mostly following wherever my curiosity takes me. And I’m really enjoying it. Right now, though, most of my spare time is going into promoting Shit Happens. And since I’m still working full-time, there are only so many hours in the day. Will I write another book? Maybe. Who knows? Perhaps my husband will provide enough material for a sequel! Although, for his sake, I sincerely hope inspiration finds me another way.